I’m lucky if I get so much as a cake on my birthday. For his 28th birthday, Kamran Akmal’s employers have given him indefinite leave from work.

Coach Intikhab Alam today confirmed what should have been done a couple of years ago. Kamran Akmal has been replaced by Sarfraz Ahmed as the Pakistan wicketkeeper.

Pakistan cricket has been through many crises in the last 20 years but it’s hard to recall a team more shambolic than the present one. Even when Wasim Akram was stripped of the captaincy after a player revolt, at least most of the team were united against him. That situation was analogous to the Younus Khan situation earlier this year, although Wasim in his first stint as captain wasn’t anywhere the captain Younus was.

Our team, as is always the case, is rife with divisions. The Lahore/Karachi rivalry has always been present and we’re now used to the religious divide as well. Now the team is also divided along family lines. For Umar Akmal to fake an injury because his brother was going to be dropped is unprecedented. If Pakistan’s batting woes weren’t so desperate, he would have been sent home for being such a crybaby. The idea of a 19-year-old in his second Test series holding the team hostage is so bizarre, I’m still having a hard time believing it’s true. But Umar Akmal, despite his inexperience, is so vital to the team he felt invincible.

Younus Khan was forced to resign the captaincy because the players felt he was too dictatorial. Right now, I wouldn’t mind giving charge to Hitler. Pakistan deserve to lose the third Test against Australia and it should be an innings. I now find it impossible to root for, or even watch, this team.